Your farts have been looking for a way to help themselves feel more…useful. Sure they are good for a laugh, and can really spice up a first date, but let’s face it, it is not easy being simply a comedian. We need to have meaning from life, and to feel like we have a place in this universe. I wonder what the hell this guy eats to make his innards so damn flammable. Why get up from the chair to light that candle when you could use the ass gas fire remote?

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