Police have released this video of the elusive Turtle Shoe Rapist after he was captured for an extended period of time molesting a young hiker who got lost in the woods. He was identified by his signature “victory call of the wild” he emits while performing his insidious acts. While the TSR is extremely horny, he is not very fast, so you should be able to avoid an encounter like this one. If you spot him…please call the police immediately.